Book Deodorizer

One of the most pernicious knids in the last several hundred years of bookselling has been odoriferous books. As all booksellers know, most books stink, but some of them go so far as to smell. It breaks the heart to tear into a lovely milk crate of potentially mortgage- paying volumes only to discover that they have been stored in the back of a disused lavatory along with the owners’ collection of rare molds & spores.

There are many makeshift methods to drive odors out of books, from a dose of sunlight to a good strong coating of Febreze®. But they may work or not work or even damage the invalided book.

So, if you have recently unearthed a nice fat modern first whose mindless half-wit of an owner had a fondness for pellet burning wood stoves and you would like it made more socially acceptable in a reasonable amount of time, I suggest you try my exclusively made Book Deodorizer*. It is made from harmless chemically neutral highly absorbent granules, (with the recent addition of real cedar scent!*) and when put in an air tight container with the convalescent tome it is guaranteed to absorb odor molecules. Length of time necessary for the abrogation of the odor is dictated by the severity of the stench.

Available in either the original clay based or the new biodegradable corn cob-based. There is no risk as each bottle is guaranteed. Hundreds of bottles have been sold over the years with no refunds…as yet.

*We have tried including NO smellum in the product, however since the odor remains in the granules, it gives the distinct impression that nothing is happening; besides cedar is nice and repells bibliovores.

*see: http://www.bookdeodorizer.com

J. Godsey
 
 14 Pleasant St.
 Methuen, MA 01844

Selling books since 1980
 
 Publisher of Sic, the Book Humor magazine
 
 Distributors of “Book Deodorizer”
 http://www.bookdeodorizer.com